Slumdog Middle Class

Well, In December my house fell apart. I guess it has been falling apart for awhile now, but, December is when it fell apart around me like the end of poltergeist or whatever that movie is where the house falls in on its self and disappears. I went to San Francisco the weekend of December 5th. That morning, I woke up to, what I imagine, an elephant pissing out of my ceiling. Which, in turn, caused a gigantic hole. And i mean HUGE, like if it was a square, it would be 3ft x 3ft. The Slumlords came, cleared (created) the hole, patched the roof (at least) and disappeared. (during the coldest winter in like... ever) And THEN on Christmas day, I hit some exposed wires on my heater with the twins new Wall-E table and after a few sparks and a loud noise, no more heat. THEN, the vent on my dryer, split in half, then fell out off the wall completely. Which makes it so the dryer vents into the house, and makes the upstairs like a sauna (Which was actually nice when it snowed, because that is what we used as HEAT) However, this has caused some mold to grow, because of all the moisture. At least, if we get sick, all we have to do is lick the walls. Oh, and last week, the Garbage disposal went tits up.
Anyways, after 3 months of calling and asking and begging for someone to come fix it.... I asked Jon to call the Slumlord and tell him that we were using our rent to pay for someone to come fix our house. AND we were also going to file a complaint with the Tenants Union. Amazingly, we IMMEDIATELY received a call back, and yesterday, we had someone over to start the repairs.

OK, I need coffee and some of the free food that they are giving away in the lobby of my building. This fat girl NEVER turns down free food. So, I'll be right back, don't go away.....

OK, now.... I got the hole fixed. Which Immediately made my house warmer. AMAZING! And they say they are coming back on Friday, with a NEW WASHER AND DRYER!! and they are also going to find out what is wrong with my heater, and they are going to fix the garbage disposal.

Shit like this makes me SO GLAD that I have a landlord. Even though I have a slumlord, i LOVE my house, and I am super glad that I am there. But seriously, who knew you could be middle class and live in a slum. I always thought you had to be poor. You don't. Just pick a poor place to live. So here is my helpful hint. Talk to the tenants BEFORE you move into a place.

On to my Dog. I have a little scavenger dog. His name is Taco, and he will eat anything he can get his teeth on. Last night, we dumped out his crate, and hidden in his bed he had:

• an empty shampoo packet (like the ones you get in the mail and shit)
• a sock
• numerous shredded used paper towels he kyped from the garbage
• a q-tip
• stuffing from his duck
• an empty fruit snack package

He also LOVES fruit snacks. I don't understand. But, I'll keep you updated on the strange shit my dog eats.

Oh, and I cleaned the BackYarden (twinspeak for Back Yard) and watched 90210. Now, I follow the new one too, but, I recently switched my TV package and now I get the Soap channel. which means I get 2 90210's a day. Thank god for DVR, I may never watch live TV again.

Life is good. More later.